


big brother

by nobodynoticeable



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: No Fandom - Freeform, grossgrossgrossgross, personal, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodynoticeable/pseuds/nobodynoticeable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He" is the name i've given my abuser. an emphasis, an importance, to His being. reminds me of god, ironically.</p>
<p>if god exists, he wouldn't like what He has to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	big brother

**Author's Note:**

> warnings:  
> incest, pedophilia, non-con, rape implied

what i really hate about being a victim of incest is the secrecy.

i want to tell people, i do, i know it's not my fault and that He was in the wrong and all that, but i just can't. i'd be able to, naturally. i'm fantastic at spilling my own secrets, no doubt about that, but this is one of them that has actual, real-world consequences attached to it, and i can't be responsible for that.

it'd break up my family, to begin with. if i were to tell anyone, it would first be my father, who would either talk directly to Him or His mother, or both, and everyone would get angry and pitying and disappointed and shameful and. i don't want that. i'm not sure what His mother would do, whether she'd defend or attack Him. if she defended Him, which wouldn't surprise me, there'd be a divorce between dad and her; my wonderful step-family would be gone, the house, my belongings, the dogs, the money, everything. it'd break me. also, He's my brother. step-brother, if you want to get technical. i couldn't put any of my siblings in jail, or worse, distance them from the family. it was His family before it was mine, and though if any of them knew what He'd done, they would shun Him without thinking, i couldn't let that happen. truth is, i don't want Him to be arrested or disowned or shamed - He doesn't deserve it (how odd my loyalties are) - and i'm not even sure He could survive it. not that He's suicidal, He's just unable to look after Himself, even at His age.

and if she sided with me, His mother? she'd lose a second child.

i couldn't deal with the guilt.

besides, i have no real proof. the real incidents, which have thankfully (mercifully) subsided to small "accidental" touches and invasions of personal space and stares and comments and i could go on but they're not blatant and that's what matters, they started more than half a decade ago, and at times i'm not even sure if i'm remembering things right.

i want Him out of my life.


End file.
